Things I wonder about . . .

Celtic Samurai · Post by **Celtic Samurai** » October 13, 2004, 11:17 am

How do morbidly obese people have sex?

Chreteau · Post by **Chreteau** » October 13, 2004, 11:20 am

Like this.

Do NOT click this in a computer lab.

the_red_chimp · Post by **the_red_chimp** » October 13, 2004, 11:51 am

OH MY GOD NO THIS IS NOT SAFE TO VIEW IF YOU HAVE EYES

paula · Post by **paula** » October 13, 2004, 12:48 pm

I'm in Strong lab right now, and I'm really dissapointed that I can't watch that. Ugh. Can't wait to get home! I hope it's DELICIOUS.

rchif0 · Post by **rchif0** » October 13, 2004, 1:05 pm

paula wrote:I'm in Strong lab right now, and I'm really dissapointed that I can't watch that. Ugh. Can't wait to get home! I hope it's DELICIOUS.

Picture yourself naked.

Post by **Paco103** » October 13, 2004, 3:21 pm

rchif0 wrote:Picture yourself naked.

Nah, picturing Paula naked isn't so bad. . . but THAT picture is. . . .

Chreteau · Post by **Chreteau** » October 13, 2004, 3:24 pm

Last time I pictured Paula naked, she yelled at me.

Fried Squirrel · Post by **Fried Squirrel** » October 13, 2004, 3:33 pm

Chreteau wrote:Last time I pictured Paula naked, she yelled at me.

Were you just picturing her naked? Or did you go further?

Chreteau · Post by **Chreteau** » October 13, 2004, 3:40 pm

Well, we were chatting online and she got mad at me. Put me on ignore even. The transcript is below:

Chreteau: hey there, i see you have an interest in criminal justice!
Paula: yup!
Chreteau: cool
Chreteau: what kind of criminals interest you?
Paula: serial killers!
Chreteau: cool
Chreteau: i'm fascinated by women who kill
Paula: haha
Paula: if anyone could see this conversation aside from us they'd be freaked out
Chreteau: true
Chreteau: do you like roleplay?
Paula: ok, now im freaked out

Fried Squirrel · Post by **Fried Squirrel** » October 13, 2004, 3:44 pm

So I take it you are the creep.

creep: hey there, i see you have an interest in criminal justice!
Paula: yup!
creep: cool
creep: what kind of criminals interest you?
Paula: serial killers!
creep: cool
creep: i'm fascinated by women who kill
Paula: haha
Paula: if anyone could see this conversation aside from us they'd be freaked out
creep: true
creep: do you like roleplay?
Paula: ok, now im freaked out

Chreteau · Post by **Chreteau** » October 13, 2004, 3:47 pm

DOH! :shock:

Fried Squirrel · Post by **Fried Squirrel** » October 13, 2004, 3:51 pm

Don't be getting mouthy now or I will beat you down.

paula · Post by **paula** » October 13, 2004, 3:55 pm

haha, yaaay, i'm home now and i got to see the picture.

you can picture me naked all you want, just don't tell me about it.

Chreteau · Post by **Chreteau** » October 13, 2004, 4:04 pm

Did she share THIS with you?

Chreteau: Wanna cyber?
paula: K, but don't tell anybody ;-)
paula: Who are you?
Chreteau: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
Chreteau: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
paula: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
Chreteau: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
paula: Haha! OK
paula: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
Chreteau: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
paula: I want everything, baby!
Chreteau: Is this a delivery?
paula: Umm...Yes
paula: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
Chreteau: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
paula:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
Chreteau: You can't hurry good pizza.
Chreteau: I'm on my way now though
**pause**
paula: So you're at my front door now.
Chreteau: How did you know?
Chreteau: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
Chreteau: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
paula: ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
Chreteau: So you're still in the bathroom?
paula: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
Chreteau: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
paula: What the fuck?
paula: You perverted piece of shit
paula: Fuck

Fried Squirrel · Post by **Fried Squirrel** » October 13, 2004, 4:42 pm

LOL. Didn't see that.

the_red_chimp · Post by **the_red_chimp** » October 13, 2004, 5:27 pm

She doesn't type like that.

Fried Squirrel · Post by **Fried Squirrel** » October 13, 2004, 5:29 pm

Didn't think she did. Figured the guy was just telling us about his fantasies.

Chreteau · Post by **Chreteau** » October 13, 2004, 8:32 pm

LOL! You're right. The first transcript I copied from Paula's post, the second I found by Googling "stupid cybersex."

As a married individual, I only cyber with my wife. Be careful though, cybersex leads to these:

HatePirate · Post by **HatePirate** » October 13, 2004, 8:57 pm

HatePirate: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
paula: mmmm, okay.
HatePirate: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
paula: Yeah I like it rough.
HatePirate: I smack you thick booty.
paula: Oh yeah, that feels good.
HatePirate: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
HatePirate: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
paula: you like that?
HatePirate: I peel some bananas.
paula: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
HatePirate: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
paula: Peanuts?
HatePirate: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
paula: What are you talking about?
HatePirate: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
paula: This is stupid.
HatePirate: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
HatePirate: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
HatePirate: Yeeaahhhh.
paula: /ignore

Post by **Paco103** » October 13, 2004, 10:59 pm

And for some reason Paula thinks being a girl online sucks. . . . I wonder why she'd think that?[/url]

paula · Post by **paula** » October 13, 2004, 11:24 pm

i cannot believe i came home to this. oh my goodness.

i should delete this entire thread!

but it's rather amusing, so i won't. but just in case there were any doubts, all of the conversations aside from the one i posted are UNTRUE!

Chreteau · Post by **Chreteau** » October 13, 2004, 11:27 pm

I can't believe you went home at all. I thought you were coming over tonight?

Fried Squirrel · Post by **Fried Squirrel** » October 14, 2004, 10:38 am

Chreteau wrote:I can't believe you went home at all. I thought you were coming over tonight?

Don't be suprised if she decides to beat you with a wet noodle.

Celtic Samurai · Post by **Celtic Samurai** » October 14, 2004, 10:38 am

Chreteau · Post by **Chreteau** » October 14, 2004, 10:44 am

Fried Squirrel wrote:Don't be suprised if she decides to beat you with a wet noodle.

Funny, I just had a dream about that ...