Today blows...

[HatePirate]

Today's my birthday. I can remember it like it was yesterday. The doctor pulled me from my mother's womb and held me up. My father looked at the doctor in disgust. "Throw that piece of shit away." I lied sleeping in the trash until a kindly nurse took me home. She used me as a paperweight until I crapped all over her desk. Then she realized I was alive and decided to nurture and raise me into the mess of a being I am today. My entire family is out of town for the weekend. I am completely alone on my special day. I'm going to get some captain and coke and drink away the loneliness. Happy fucking birthday to me...

[Sam]

Happy b-day man. If it makes you feel any better, almost everyone in my family FORGOT my birthday a few months ago.

[Celtic Samurai]

HAW!