Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

Chreteau · Post by **Chreteau** » October 3, 2004, 2:47 pm

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a .40 caliber Glock, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?

Post by **Paco103** » October 3, 2004, 9:16 pm

It says I'm an expert shot . . . so why waste extra bullets?

"If you can't do it with one bullet don't do it at all" -- Allan Quatermain(Sean Connery): League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

ogre · Post by **ogre** » October 8, 2004, 5:30 pm

dammit good!

ogre · Post by **ogre** » October 8, 2004, 5:31 pm

by the way, new bear here. Hey, guys..........

paula · Post by **paula** » October 8, 2004, 5:56 pm

hi, welcome to the board!

the_red_chimp · Post by **the_red_chimp** » October 8, 2004, 6:10 pm

So you've met paula. She smells like tuna.

Chreteau · Post by **Chreteau** » October 8, 2004, 6:15 pm

the_red_chimp wrote:She smells like tuna.

Packed in water or oil?

paula · Post by **paula** » October 8, 2004, 8:23 pm

i do NOT smell like tuna. my vagina does. please dont make the generalization that my entire body carries that scent, because that's just insulting.

wait..

Chreteau · Post by **Chreteau** » October 8, 2004, 8:45 pm

paula wrote:i do NOT smell like tuna. my vagina does.

I still want to know, packed in water or oil?

Post by **Paco103** » October 8, 2004, 10:09 pm

paula wrote:i do NOT smell like tuna. my vagina does. please dont make the generalization that my entire body carries that scent, because that's just insulting.

wait..

Way to defend yourself Paula. . . Glad you're not going into law

"My client did NOT kill that man, his knife did. Please do not generalize"

Fried Squirrel · Post by **Fried Squirrel** » October 12, 2004, 10:57 pm

Paco103 wrote: "My client did NOT kill that man, his knife did. Please do not generalize"

Gotta hate those knives that have a mind of their own.

BearNotes

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

Which one are you?

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?